Confessions of a former Black Metal Degenerate, Part I, II, III & IV

Part I

When I was 17 I was lost in this world. The Berlin Wall had fallen, my hope for a big cleansing WWIII was crushed. You might argue that I was wrong, that WWIII was still possible, but back then my hope was crushed. Since age 12 I had waited for it, prepared for it and made preparations for it. I did not want to live in the world as it was. On the other side, all my normie friends “grew up” and instead of playing RPGs with me they focused on their education. So I had nothing.

That is, I had started to play the guitars, by chance really, and when not preparing for WWIII or playing RPGs with my friends, I played the guitars – on my own, in my room. So what I had left was the guitars…..

Of course I was a fool, and as much as I don’t like to admit it, I was ignorant and stupid – but not least without any guidance. Without any direction. The direction I had sent myself into, WWIII, failed. Let’s be honest though: teenagers are ignorant and stupid, and they need guidance.

You can think differently today, and you are right; today teenagers don’t need to be stupid, ignorant and without guidance. The “Red Pill” is right here, online, and we can all take it. They can easily find positive guidance if they want to. It’s one click away from them.

But it was not like that when I was a teenager. We had no internet. We had no positive adults willing to guide us in the right direction. We had only TV and other MSM, the school system and our Baby Boomer parents. Dissident voices did not exist in the public. No dissident publications. No alternative media whatsoever. Not even in the form of slogans spray painted on walls. Our Baby Boomer parents only worked and worked, in order to be able to buy all the “stuff” that the “progressive” world was able to produce (more and more in China).

When we were instinctively attracted to something positive, we were reprimanded. We were “corrected” and sent another way. And perhaps most importantly: we were led to believe that we were alone in our dissidence, if we were there. Nobody else were like us. Nobody else had the same thoughts. Or so they wanted us to think.

I was 17 and angry, understanding at least already that WWII had been a disaster for the entire world, that the world I grew up in was rotten to the core and heading for disaster. But all I saw around me was normies working hard to become a part of the system that was destroying everything worthwhile. Yeah, it was depressing. So I was angry, but also sad. I had no reason to have any hope.

The only “dissidents” I saw were metal heads in the area. And they were few and far in between. But they existed, and I guess the 17 year old me hoped that perhaps they would share some of my ideas? Or maybe I just had nothing else and followed the one direction I had left in life: playing the guitars.

I joined a thrash metal band, Old Funeral, about to change their style into death metal as I joined. Not because of me, mind you, but because that was the direction “extreme metal” was taking at the time. Personally I had not even heard about death metal before.

What really happened at that point was that I joined a group of people that I had basically nothing in common with. Well, we liked some of the same music, but that was it. The others were either older, from 20 to 21, I think, or in the case of two of them, my age. 17.

Harald, Jørn-Inge, Padden, Tore & Olve. Later on we socialized with a few other older guys, Jim and Are. That was the entire “metal” scene. Well, other metal bands existed in Bergen, but we had nothing to do with them. Harald and Tore corresponded with some others in the “underground scene of metal” in Norway and abroad, but I thought little of that at the time.

Initially, I “tried” my opinions on them, shared my thoughts and ideas, but they were either rejected, ridiculed or ignored. They had not been preparing for WWIII, for sure. They did not find my explosives, rifles and ammo any interesting whatsoever. They did not feel that the world was going the wrong way.

I faded, but another ‘me’ grew. I came under the influence of older guys who nourished other ideas in me — a young and impressionable boy after all. The idea that playing music in a band, and making a living from it was possible, was born in me. Before I had not bothered with such ideas. I was not interested. I had other goals.

This is how it began for me. This was the beginning of my fall. This is how I came under the influence of absolute degenerates and sank into the cesspool known as “The Norwegian Black Metal scene”.

See the source image

Part II.

By the time I turned 18 the metal scene internationally was shit, and things were going the wrong way there too. Every single band sounded the same, looked the same, said the same and even tried to look, sound and say the same. Death metal had become absolutely pathetic. A joke. Trend.

I can add, today, that it had because death metal had become popular, and this is what happens to all popular culture, but…. I didn’t understand that at the time.

So Harald and I drove to meet one of the guys Harald corresponded with in the “metal underground”. Another dissatisfied guy in the Oslo area. Øystein of Mayhem.

We visited him in Ski. He was even older than Harald and one of the the veterans of the metal underground in Norway. He fuelled our dissatisfaction with the death metal scene further. But he had different motives for his dissatisfaction… He claimed the bands weren’t “true”. They were not true to the ideas of extreme metal.

In hindsight I understand that he was simply jealous of the success of the many death metal bands. Kids younger than him, doing better than him. His band was a complete failure. They didn’t even rehearse. The drummer was “screwing” metal chicks in Oslo. The bassist was “smoking pot with his girlfriend” somewhere else. The vocalist was sitting in his room all day, doing nothing. At the same time, others were signed to big companies and did great.

Like I said, we didn’t understand this at the time. Our dissatisfaction was with the music itself, with the fact that all bands started to sound the same, look the same and say the same. Death metal had lost all originality.

But we were influenced by Øystein. He was older and had the status of being a veteran in the metal underground. With time we were convinced by his arguments. We adopted his opinions. We too started to attack the death metal bands, for not being “true” to the idea of extreme metal. We tried to like the bands he presented as “true” (but yeah, most of the time failed to….). We tried to look like he wanted metal guys to look. We were shaped by him.

Yes, I was 18 years old, and I should have known better. But I failed. And I admit that I failed. And regret it.

Part III

From age 17 I started to fall, because I came under the influence of older guys with poor judgement, and from the age of 18 I fall much father and faster. I came under the influence of an absolute degenerate loser, Øystein of Mayhem. I will go as far as to compare it to cancer growing inside of you, only this cancer was growing in the mind.

From age 18 to 19 I allowed this to happen because I didn’t know any better, because I was weak, impressionable and ignorant – and not least inexperienced. The mind cancer grew and grew, and I lost more and more of my quality. I became more and more degenerate myself. Hateful. Depressed. Reckless. Destructive.

But at one point I woke up. On my own. Yes, I had none to wake me up. None to guide me away from this shit. But I woke up myself. Starting in the second half of 1992. It was a gradual process though. It didn’t happen overnight. But it did happen. I shook off his influence. I rid myself of more and more of his ideas. I purified my mind. I became better.

I also started to wake others up….

Yes, this was the reason why he wanted to “get rid of” me. I undermined him, his promotion of degeneracy, his lies and his status.

But that is another story, already discussed elsewhere. Today I wish to focus on something else, namely the MSM’s misuse of me to promote his ideas. To promote degeneracy. To promote what I rejected!

Yes, this is the reason why I feel such a strong need to distance myself from Black Metal! All the bad things of that scene is being projected unto me, when in reality I was the one rejecting this, revolting against it and I even killed the source for this most extreme degeneracy!

I promoted the degeneracy only because I came under his influence, only because I was young, weak and impressionable. I ended in a conflict with him because I – starting in 1992 – rejected and revolted against this. I did because I grew older, stronger and less impressionable! And now – decades later – I am being misused by MSM to promote his degeneracy!


Well, I cannot tell you why, because if I do I break the law. It is against the law to tell the truth about them. This is all I will say about that for now.

Part IV

I got rid of that mind cancer. I want to promote something good and positive. But “strong forces” don’t want me too. They want to drag us all into their cesspool. They want us all to suffer from the mind cancer they are suffering from, from birth, and they slander me and misuse for that. But we don’t need to. We can be better.

So please help me promote something better. Help me wake others too up. That’s all.



The Class Struggle

The nomadic hunter-gatherer had a very homogenous intelligence level. Everyone was pretty much of the same intelligence level, because the society was one where everyone had to know about the same and have the same abilities. It promoted the “Jack of All Trades” (and master of them all…), forcing everyone to perform well on all fields.

Poor craftsmen would fail, because they would make poor hunting gear and other equipment, and would fail when hunting and fishing, or when building clothes and shelter. Poor planners would fail too, because their prey would get away, they would not find the right place to fish, etc. Poor gatherers would fail too, because they would not find the right or enough herbs, nuts, sea shells, roots etc.

The above is true, but yes, it is simplified to make a point. In reality, the ones with poor skills and abilities would simply more often fail. The result was that the intelligence and ability level was forcibly maintained at a high level. Yes, maintained by the force of Mother Nature.

The nomadic hunter-gatherers were few and note that they had no different social classes. Everyone was the same, because everyone had the same skills and abilities. Those that differed from the rest in a negative way would die out. If not immediately, then over time. Because the families were all left alone, in the wilderness, and any and all incapable families would more rarely succeed out there.


Agriculture changed this for several reasons. First because it became easier to produce enough food for many. They didn’t have to “leave the weak for the wolves” in the forest, in order to survive. They didn’t as often experience death from cold or starvation or predators, because of lacking abilities. Secondly because the possession of land became important. Thirdly because different abilities became more important. That is: specialization became a factor.

Specialization is a positively charged word, but note that by specialization I mean that some became good at performing only certain tasks. Often tedious tasks, like harvesting or planting or grinding of grains. Tasks that required very little intelligence or skill,and those who performed those tasks were untrained in most other skills.

With food enough for many, and with the need for individuals able to perform tedious tasks, the less intelligent all of a sudden became a valuable resource. They could allow them to live, because they had food enough for them too, and they were just as useful in society as the others – because they were able to perform those tedious tasks. Yes, I say able, because a more intelligent person will much faster and more easily get bored performing tedious tasks. They are, in effect, not able to. If forced to, they will at best become sad – possibly chronically depressed.

When harvest failed or herd animals got sick or died, to avoid large scale famine the farmers would simply put solve this by taking the harvest or animals from others. By force. Other consequences was of course tyranny (one man controlled the land producing food, and the food itself), slavery (you could kidnap others and make them work on your fields or with your animals under threat of violence and death), and also the introduction of different social classes: the owners versus the workers. The farmer and his slaves. You saw the introduction of a warrior class; men hired by the owner to protect his land and to enslave others or ensure obedience in the ranks of the workers. Men hired to enslave and steal from others or indeed to protect the owner’s lands and people from others doing that.


With different social classes we saw an active cultivation of different abilities in different groups of society. Owners needed to remain fairly smart, to organize society, to predict future events accurately, to understand and prepare for different challenges, etc. The warriors needed to be obedient and capable. The workers needed to be obedient and “able to perform tedious tasks”. Yes, the latter is a nice way of saying: “they needed the workers to be not too smart.” Ergo: they needed the workers to be stupid.

Now, this didn’t change man dramatically over night, but this process started some 7000 years ago here in Europe, and earlier elsewhere, and with time the differences became more and more noticeable. The owners remained fairly smart, although not as smart as the hunter-gatherers, because agriculture and later on civilization reduced their abilities too, as explained elsewhere. The warriors became more and more obedient (which can be a type of stupidity too, I may add….), and the workers dumber and dumber. So dumb that in our own age, the average worker is borderline retarded… and utterly slave-minded and incapable. Only able to obey and slave (work for others). Only able to perform simple tasks, and having close to zero personal initiative. They are content being entertained, when not slaving for their masters.

Yes, today we need people to be really stupid, because so many tasks are so utterly tedious, and we also need people to be extremely obedient, because otherwise they would not have performed them (like shoot rubber bullets on children only because your authorities tell you too, or throw gas grenades at pregnant women only because your authorities tell you too). “Don’t ask any questions! Don’t even wonder why you do that!” “Just obey!”


Then came Communism, or if you like; Marxism. I will use the Soviet Union as an example, because what happened there is so evident to those who look at it. First of all they removed (killed…) or enslaved (forced into GULags or working class jobs) the elite of the Russian society (the smarter owners). Secondly they removed the barriers that had previously prevented intermarriage between the social classes. In the USSR the “owner” would marry the “slave” as often as not. They were encouraged to, directly or indirectly. “There are no social classes! We are all the same!”

The result (after only some generations) of this mixing of classes was a man not smart enough to perform the tasks of the owner, but still a man too smart to perform the tasks of the worker. This of course is code for “a criminal”…. one just smart enough to understand that he can break the rules and get away with it.

Now, not all ex-Soviet peoples are criminals, of course, but a disproportionately large amount of their populations are criminally corrupt. Russia is not “by chance” the most corrupt country in all of Europe, and competing for the title of the most corrupt in the entire world… Western Europe is not flooded by criminal East Europeans “by chance”. This is the result of the Communism they have been under for 70 or so years.

Smart people still exist there, they are just fewer. Really stupid people (average workers) still exist there – and their numbers might actually have been increased. But the amount of “socially mixed” individuals have been dramatically increased by Communism, and the average intelligence has been lowered. Thanks to Marxism.

See the source image


Here in “the West” we have had a similar reduction of overall quality of man, not just because of of the general negative effects of agriculture and civilization, but also because of the equally bad Capitalism and it’s cultivation of greed at the expense of all qualities of man, but in a different way. Not in a better way, nor any less, but in a different way. I might discuss that another time, but today I just wished to point out that social classes are a result of agriculture and civilization, both utterly destructive to mankind, and the mixing of these social classes don’t bring all up to the same or indeed a better level, but instead drag most down to the lowest levels of mankind. That of a criminally corrupt individual or that or that of a seriously stupid worker.

If you are from the working class yourself, I can throw you a bone here, and remind you of the fact that if you are better than the average worker, you will rise up from that cesspool and no longer be working class.

Thank you for reading.